10 Tips For The New Mom: Letting Motherhood Happen
When I learned I was going to be a mother, I was overfilled with all these ideas of what motherhood would be like. He would eat the most healthy of things, go to bed by 7:30, and most importantly, sleep in his own crib. In reality, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Guess what? It’s TOTALLY OK Mama! There are so many tips for the first time Mom I learned!
We have this idea ingrained in us, pretty much since we were young, of how motherhood should go. Social media and “societal rules” tell us we should parent a certain way. Anything less than that, we feel like we fail. The fact is, no two children, or mothers truly, are the same.
Here are ten tips for the first time Mom. Here is the reason you should just let motherhood happen! You can learn to let go of any guilt, and enjoy motherhood the way that works for you and your family.
This is a guest post from Katrina at Preemie Mom Life.
Advice For The New Mom: Motherhood Is Fluid
The first great tip for the first time mom is, the idea that there is one way to mother suggests that we are all the same, we are not. We all learn differently. We have different thoughts, ideas, and even daily routines. Find a way that mothering works best with your child and start incorporating that into your daily routine.
Understanding that your picture of motherhood may be very different than someone else, can help ease your mind. Try not to focus on negative thoughts when you are frustrated with your present moment. The best advice for new moms, is motherhood is fluid! It’s constantly changing. Your world today will look very different tomorrow.
It’s okay if your mothering style is different from anyone else! Focus on what works for you. No two families are the same
Save Your Sanity As A New Mom
Let’s face it, juggling kids and a household can really do a number on your nerves and peace of mind. The best way I have found to deal with it is, sometimes, just roll with it. Let go of all your expectations and enjoy right now. A big tip for first time moms is, sometimes just letting things go, like the dishes or laundry, can go a long way in saving your sanity and letting motherhood happen.
Next time you have a mile-high to-do list and your children are misbehaving, stop what you are doing and just spend time with them. Those dishes and clothes will wait, and your sanity will thank you for some slow down time.
Tips For All New Moms: Pick Your Battles
When you’re not fighting everything all the time, you have a better chance of winning. My advice for a new mom is, if you are fighting everything your child does because it doesn’t fit the idea of what you think they should or shouldn’t be doing, that drives a wedge in your relationship. That is something that you, of course, don’t want. Be aware of this now. Learn to accept the differences in opinion that naturally will happen.
When you find yourself getting ready to go on either attack or defense mode, step back and ask yourself is this really something that you want to fight about right now. If it is, then take a moment to think about how to best proceed before letting your emotions get the best of you. If it is not, then just let it go.
It Won’t Matter 6 Months From Now
The things that seem big now, probably won’t matter 6 months from now. What will though, is how you handled things. Kids don’t care how often do do the laundry, or how clean your kitchen is. What they will remember are the books you read, the games you played, and dance-offs you might have had.
My best advice for new moms, be present with your children. turn off the phone and computer. Watch that same movie for the 18th time. It’s worth it, I promise. Focus on being a happy mom, rather than being the perfect mom.
It Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint
As a new mom, it’s hard to look at Motherhood with a marathon mindset. You are just trying to get through to the next stopping point. Not trying to beat it all at once. There is a real need for endurance, through a slow and steady pace. Take your time, even stop to smell the roses. Please make sure you stop for some self-care in between too.
My advice for first time moms is to slow down. Enjoy what you have been given. Motherhood is a crazy journey, so make sure to give yourself some grace.
Your Children Will Be More Independent
Believe it or not, when you just let motherhood happen, your children will grow from it. Your daughter will learn how to navigate her own mothering journey in the future. Your son will understand how difficult mothering can be on his wife, which will strengthen his role when he’s a father. You are allowing them to see how things within a family should be when you let go of all the should be’s and let things just happen.
My tip for new moms is to let your children see you when you are slightly vulnerable at times. Let them see you make healthy conscious decisions to let things go. This will help them learn how they should react to similar situations in the future, thus making them more independent.
Strengthens Your Relationship With Your Children
When you let things happen naturally with motherhood, the room opens up for more adventures. That leads to more family time, which strengthens the family bonds. When you have a strong relationship with your children, they are more likely to open up about little or big things that they would normally keep to themselves.
Take a conscientious effort to genuinely ask your kid questions that will open them up. Maybe make dinner no tv family time. Anything that will fit into your family, and strengthen the bond within it.
You Are No Longer In Control Mama
I always thought the parent was always supposed to be the one in control, boy was I was wrong. That was me when I had the preconceived notion of how motherhood was supposed to be. That control was erased when my son was in the NICU for what would be the longest 93 days of my life.
I am always trying to “control” things in my own life. It’s important to know how each day will go. I love knowing what will happen next, and hate surprises!. Once my baby came, that control over my life and decisions was gone.
Everything becomes the best choice as far as your child is concerned. Life became less about knowing the things that will happen day to day. This was the advice I wish I had as a first time mom.
Find ways to let go of your need to be in control fully. Your baby is now, in some ways, a decision-maker.
You Have Fewer Regrets
Let go of your ideas of perfection. You will have fewer regrets. It’s a beautiful thing to live your life that way. When you choose to do things that make sense for your unique family instead of following the crowd (without feeling bad), you can live your life the way you were meant to. Your children will, in turn, live that way as they get older.
Find creative ways to let go of your guilt.
They Grow Up So Fast
The last one, and definitely the most important, your children grow up in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, they will be grown and going out on their own. Do you want to look back and say, “I was too busy trying to live for a false perception of motherhood ”. I know I don’t want to. Start making an effort today to be there and enjoy this time you have with them. These are the moments we will cherish forever.
About the Author
Katrina is a preemie mom to a 25 week old baby. She is on a journey to combat loneliness, and the lack of information for other preemie moms.
Make sure you are following Katrina on Preemie Mom Life.